


A Comedy of Errors

by jellybeanforest



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Also by accident, Bottom Tony Stark, Cap-IronMan Holiday Exchange, Comedy of Errors, Established Relationship, M/M, Mistaken Identity, Misunderstandings, Roleplaying Gone Wrong, Sexual Harassment, Top Steve Rogers, but by accident, light infidelity, roleplaying
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-27
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:15:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27746587
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jellybeanforest/pseuds/jellybeanforest
Summary: Tony Stark and Steve Rogers have been secretly dating for months when Tony suggests some light roleplaying: At the Stark Industries holiday party, they will pretend to be strangers, and Tony will pick him up. Steve is uncertain whether he is up for the task; he has never been particularly good at being undercover, but he will try for Tony’s sake.Of course, Tony plans to humor him and his terrible acting – Steve is doing this for him, after all – but when the time comes, Steve proves to not only be a surprisingly good actor but also completely unresponsive to any of Tony’s attempts to pick him up. That’s okay; Tony will just have to work even harder to match Steve’s level of commitment.Based on Shakespeare’s The Comedy of Errors. For the 2020 Cap-IronMan Holiday Exchange.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 20
Kudos: 113
Collections: 2020 Captain America/Iron Man Holiday Exchange





	A Comedy of Errors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alexcat](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alexcat/gifts).



> For alexcat, who prompted “Comedy of Errors.” The Comedy of Errors is a Shakespearean play where two sets of twins are raised apart from each other in separate cities. When one half shows up in the other’s city, everyone mistakes them for the resident twin, leading to a series of comedic misunderstandings.
> 
> Important context: In Marvel movies, both Johnny Storm of the Fantastic Four and Steve Rogers are played by Chris Evans.

Tony has always been flexible, both metaphorically and literally. It is one of his better attributes that kept Steve on his toes, and while he was never boring, the man often made allowances for Steve’s sensibilities and preferences.

But he can be tenacious, like a dog after a bone, when he truly wanted something.

Tony’s head is thrown back, his body loose with pleasure as Steve moves above him, his lips locked on Tony’s neck.

His voice – when he finds it – is rough. “I– I was thinking, you know–”

Steve pulls away to look at him. The sweat glistens off his face, his chest, and twinkles in the low light. “I thought that was the point of this.” He flips Tony over, maneuvering his legs so his ass is propped up before he sinks in again in one even stroke. “That you’d stop thinking for five minutes.”

Tony pants at the change in position, but he swallows, breathless, before continuing as if Steve didn’t interrupt. “Maybe– maybe you’d like to pull my hair a little.” He arches his back to give Steve better access. “Not too hard, of course, I’m not looking to go prematurely bald.”

Steve’s thrusts become shallow and more tentative, but he doesn’t stop. “You don’t like what we do?” He ropes his arm around the base of Tony’s neck to pull him back, to tilt his body, giving him a slow drag across his prostate as he presses in deeper. “Am I doing a bad job?”

Tony’s eyes roll back, moaning at the sensation. He bites his bottom lip, trying to recapture an errant thread of thought. “No… no honey… that’s– yeah, that right there; that’s the good stuff.”

Steve’s hips snap against his ass, pumping into him as he reaches around to cradle Tony’s jawline and gently kiss his temple, thrusting into him until both are spent.

* * *

Tony doesn’t let it go.

“Tony… did you eat the last of my Hunka Hulka Burnin’ Fudge?” Steve asks him another time as he scours the freezer.

Tony looks over his shoulder from the breakfast nook, spoon tapping his bottom lip. “If I say yes, will you spank me?”

Steve would be annoyed, but even from this distance, he can clearly see Tony is enjoying his signature Stark Raving Hazelnuts. “That’s not even chocolate ice cream,” he states, shortly before finding his pint in the very back of the fridge.

“It was worth a shot.”

Steve takes the seat beside him. “Tony… are you getting bored with our sex life?” He has never been one to beat around the bush.

“No…” Tony says in a way Steve knows is only a half-truth at best. He waits, knowing Tony will divulge his issue if he stays quiet. He’s rewarded for his patience when the man continues, “It’s just that… well, I know you’re used to… you– you do things a certain way, and that way is fantastic. No complaints. Really. Don’t get me wrong; I love what we do, but I was wondering if maybe you’d like to try something a little different every once in a while. You won’t know what you like if you never try, and–”

Tony is babbling. He knows he is, but he can’t quite stop. He doesn’t want to scare Steve off, but it wouldn’t hurt if they were a little more adventurous.

(And maybe, just maybe, if he broaches this whole new world of experiences with Steve, Steve will be less likely to tire of him.)

Steve observes how Tony fidgets with his spoon, how he can’t quite look Steve in the eye as he talks his way around what should never be an awkward subject between them.

“What did you have in mind?” he finally asks.

Tony stops short. “SI is having its Holiday Party next weekend. I thought we could try some light role-playing, you know… I thought maybe we could pretend to be strangers and I could pick you up for a good old fashioned one night stand?”

It’s not quite Steve’s thing, but if Tony wants to try… “Okay, sounds like it could be fun.”

They plan it together. Tony will go as himself – _the_ Tony Stark, superhero and genius extraordinaire – while Steve will have full control over his assumed identity. It’s up to him who he wanted to be – security for the event, journalist doing an exclusive spread on the brilliant billionaire, sexy intern – the possibilities are endless, and Tony will be none the wiser until the moment they “meet.” Because whatever he picks, Steve will be on time of course, and Tony will be fashionably late. He’ll hit on Steve, engage in some light flirting, and then take him to the labs where they will enjoy some semi-anonymous first-time sex, just like the good old days.

Steve had raised a brow at that.

“But not like the utterly-amazing current days,” Tony had amended. He looks askance at Steve. “You know I love you, right? You’re wonderful for doing this for me.”

“This could be kind of fun, being someone else for a few hours,” Steve allows.

Tony is elated. “Now that’s the spirit!” He pulls up some reference photos on his projected desktop to show the man some options for his character. “I was thinking: the key to any backstory is the right outfit…”

* * *

On the day of SI’s holiday party, Tony arrives forty-five minutes late. He grabs a flute off the nearest champagne tray and mills through the crowd, greeting his lab techs, flirting with the guys and gals in accounting, and schmoozing with upper management and consultants when he spies Steve wearing a dark green T-shirt under a black leather jacket. He can’t tell what role Steve is going for, but he seems relaxed, a true natural as he chats up the project lead for one of SI’s R&D projects. Tony notes that beyond the change in his clothing and general demeanor, the man must have gotten a haircut, which is a shame because he has fantastic hair: dirty blond but darker at the roots. Tony had liked to run his fingers through his tresses and maybe tug on it a little when he was feeling frisky, but with it shorn so short, it now appeared brown. Tony should have known Steve would go all-in on his undercover persona; the man never half-assed anything.

He sidles over, insinuating himself into the conversation with a well-timed introduction. “Ah Dr. Hernandez, is it?” he addresses the young woman. “How is our rising star in nanomedicine doing? Pepper showed me the results of your work studying the potential application of nanoparticles in shrinking arterial plaques for patients with atherosclerosis. Very impressive.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark,” she replies, even as Tony looks expectantly at Steve. She takes the hint. “Have you met Jonathan? I believe he’s interning in one of SI’s factories manufacturing surveillance drones.”

Tony extends his hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Jonathan.”

Steve accepts the handshake. “It’s Johnny and likewise, Mr. Stark.”

“Tony,” he corrects him. “Mr. Stark was my father.”

“I hear he was a great man as well. Brilliant or at least that’s what Reed – he’s my brother-in-law – tells me.”

Tony’s eye twitches at the mention of his father from Steve (who actually knew the man and his complicated legacy both), but he plasters on a forced smile and quickly recovers. It will take more than that to throw him off his game. He’ll just have to remember to put down some ground rules for next time.

“Dr. Hernandez was just telling me all about her research,” Steve continues, subtly turning his attention back to the good doctor. “It could really reduce the risk of heart attack and stroke. She’s a real hero.”

“Thank you, but I can’t take all the credit. I have a wonderful team, and without Mr. Stark’s funding, we wouldn’t be half as far along as we are.”

“Oh, but without your mind, I’m sure it would have been impossible,” Steve compliments her, not even glancing in Tony’s direction.

Odd. Steve knows Tony doesn’t have an ignoring kink. Quite the opposite actually. And feeling like the third wheel with his boyfriend isn’t really doing anything for him.

“Dr. Hernandez, there’s someone I’d like you to meet,” Tony says, waving over another woman he recognizes. “Dr. Cho, this is Dr. Hernandez. Dr. Cho is a geneticist and has created a device that can repair any wound, both internal and external. And this is Dr. Hernandez. She is working on nanoparticles that have the potential to target and cure multiple diseases. You two should collaborate.”

Dr. Hernandez’s interest is piqued. “I’ve heard of your work on the Regeneration Cradle. Is it true you can reprogram a patient’s DNA?” she inquires.

“Yes, theoretically it is possible, but we mostly use it for regenerating a patient’s own tissue in trauma cases. Would you like to…” Dr. Cho is saying as they veer off, headed towards the elevators.

Steve moves to join them. “Hey, that sounds very interest–”

Tony grabs his upper arm to stay him. Steve stops and stares at his hand, as if surprised Tony dared touch him.

“I have something else you may be more interested in,” Tony tells him before clarifying, “Down in my personal labs.”

Instead of agreeing immediately, Steve looks doubtful. “More interesting than the Regeneration whatsit?” he asks, looking forlornly in the direction the women had gone, though he has lost them in the crowd.

“Gearhead like yourself… wouldn’t you rather see my Hall of Armor?”

Steve looks like he very much would have rather followed Dr. Hernandez and Dr. Cho, but he’s not quite rude enough to say as much. His shoulders drop in dejection. “Lead the way.”

Tony has to give the man points for creativity: sexy intern who is besotted by someone else (and a woman at that) was _not_ on Tony’s list of possibilities for Steve’s character. He has no idea where Steve is going with this, but horny definitely factored in somewhere.

On the elevator ride down, Tony tries to figure out Steve’s game. “So, are you a big Iron Man fan?”

“Yeah, you do a lot of good work,” Steve tells him, “but I’ve always liked Captain America. People say we look a lot alike. It’s a big draw with the chicks. That and… well, you know.”

Tony doesn’t, but wow. Steve’s favorite Avenger is _himself?_

Narcissistic much?

“The Captain America game is crazy. I can’t even imagine how much pussy the real guy pulls,” he continues as Tony listens, absolutely stunned at this side of Steve. “Well, I’m sure you know all about it. You’re like teammates _and_ housemates, right? He must bring home a new girl every night. Maybe two or three with that peak human stamina of his. I have to admit; I’m pretty jealous.”

They’re definitely going to have to set ground rules if they do this again, which is seeming like a more-distant possibility with every word that falls out of Steve’s mouth.

Thankfully, the elevator pings, and the doors sweep open to reveal Tony’s expansive personal lab.

“If you like Captain America, I could show you some new tech I’ve designed for him,” Tony offers. He places his hand on the small of Steve’s back, but Steve nearly jumps away in surprise, speedwalking just a little ahead of Tony.

“Uh… which way?”

“I’ll show you.” Tony gives him a wide berth until he overtakes Steve, heading towards his central workstation. He picks up the magnetic arm straps he had designed for him. “This will allow Captain America to automatically recall his shield. He’ll never lose it this way. You’re about his size; would you like to try it on?”

“Sure,” Steve obliges him, removing his leather jacket to drape over the back of a chair and holding out his arm.

Tony slides the leather straps up his left arm, his touch lingering longer than necessary before he snaps it closed. He doesn’t let go, caressing Steve’s bicep. “You work out?”

Steve retracts his arm and steps back, his palms up and out. “Look, man. I’m very flattered, but I’m not gay.”

Steve is taking this roleplaying bit way too seriously. Tony has heard of method acting, but this is ridiculous. Between the weird self adulation and pretending to be straight, he’s giving Tony absolutely nothing workable. Does he want Tony to have one of his Iron Man armors hold him down for some consent play? They definitely hadn’t discussed that, and it’s a dick move to spring it on a partner. Whatever is going on, he decides he doesn’t like the direction Steve wants to go.

Tony’s calling it; he’s out.

“I know you’re new to this, but hell, Cap, you need to lighten up at some point and give up the goods. I like playing hard to get as much as the next guy, but you’ve turned it into an art form. I mean… A for effort and all – I’m impressed, really – but you don’t have to go this hard.”

Steve looks away as he pulls at the leather straps of the magnetic retrieval device, but he refuses to break character. “Mr. Stark, I–”

“Tony?” Steve’s voice calls out from the entrance of his lab.

Tony looks over his shoulder to find Steve – a different Steve wearing army-issued dress greens – his hair unchanged from that morning and expression flummoxed, standing next to Tony’s long-time professional rival, Dr. Reed Richards, who appears similarly perplexed.

He turns back to face the original ‘Steve.’ “If you’re…. then who…?” He swivels his head to glance between the two, trying to get them both in view to confirm whether Steve had developed the ability to be in two places at once, because if he had… well, that would allow for some interesting possibilities.

Not that he hadn’t fantasized about it from time to time. He is only human after all.

“Who are you?” he finally asks the closest Steve.

‘Steve’ frowns. “Johnny… We met fifteen minutes ago.”

“Okay, my fault – rare, but it happens – I should have been clearer: _Why do you have Steve’s face?_ ”

Steve has already crossed the room to stand beside Johnny. He coughs, “I have to apologize for my teammate here. It seems there has been a misunderstanding. You want to go back to the party, son?”

“Yeah… I think that would be best.” And with that, Steve escorts Johnny back towards the elevators, leaving Tony and Dr. Richards behind.

Tony is the first to speak. “Reed.”

“Tony.”

“…Did you clone Captain America just to screw with me?”

Tony had never pegged Reed as one for practical jokes, but there’s a first time for everything.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I didn’t. Johnny is Sue’s brother,” Reed replies. “You must have heard of him: Johnny Storm. He’s on the Fantastic Four.”

“Okay…”

That’s a lot to process, and in all fairness, the Human Torch is unrecognizable when not engulfed in flames.

“Besides, Johnny and Captain Rogers look nothing alike,” Reed posits.

Tony is speechless. He looks at the other man as if he’d grown three heads.

“Captain Rogers’s nose is 5% wider, and his hair is a lighter shade of dirty blonde and significantly longer by approximately one and seven-eighths of an inch,” he elaborates, “and though both are muscular, Johnny is admittedly not quite as broad as Captain Rogers across the shoulders. He is also shorter by a quarter inch, though you may be forgiven for the oversight as their shoes are not the same make. However, their entire personality and demeanor is so divergent as to provide you that final clue had you somehow missed all their many and varied physical differences.”

The man is just being pedantic, as per usual.

Tony grumbles, “Still the same old Reed Richards with an almost pathological attention to detail–”

“Thank you.”

“Always missing the forest for the trees.”

Reed’s lips twist into a slight frown. “…For the record: to date, I have never mistaken Sue for another woman simply because both happened to be _blonde_.”

“It’s more than that, and you know it!” Tony says, his demeanor incredulous as he points towards the door Steve and his doppelganger had so recently exited. Tony can’t be the only one to think they’re identical. Steve will back him up on this. Hell, what’s-his-name will take his side. They’re practically twins!

_Twins!_

Briefly Tony considers whether Johnny might be attracted to men as well, but he quickly discards that line of thought as an impossibility. Tony had been throwing himself at the guy for the last twenty minutes, and he hadn’t taken the bait. Tony might be older, but he’s still attractive. A goddamn silver fox. Captain America had said so, and Captain America never lies. 

“You really can’t see the similarity? Really?”

But Reed is blasé. “Like I said, just look at their faces and their style and–”

“So, you’re saying if Sue cut her hair or had a little filler injected to feel pretty, you’d think she was a completely different person?”

Reed has to be fucking with him. No one is this dense.

Reed shrugs. “Context matters. I am sure she would greet me the same as always, and I would certainly notice and comment positively on the change in her appearance. I don’t claim to know where the good Captain stands on the issue, but women appreciate it when the people in their lives notice the little things,” he explains before choosing to really rub it in. “Like being a completely different person.”

Tony’s eyes narrow. “You’re insufferable. You know that, don’t you?”

“It isn’t the first I’ve heard of it.”

He’s wasted enough time with the automaton that never quite became a real boy. “Well, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to…” He takes a step towards the door.

“Try to hit on Captain Rogers again?” Reed states baldly. “I am unsure how successful that venture would be, all things considered.”

Figures.

Reed can quantify and catalogue physical differences to the quarter inch to differentiate two improbably identical men, but his gaydar is still shit.

Good to know some things never change.

“Right, so if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be busy striking out with Captain America.”

“Since he is not in your employ under either SI or the Avengers nor would you be able to physically overpower him… I guess I’ll leave you to it then,” Reed says, his tone so condescending and judgmental, it rackles Tony’s sensibilities. “Just remember, Tony: No means no.”

Does Reed really think so little of him?

“Yeah, I get that,” Tony replies, thoroughly annoyed.

“Do you really?”

Steve is probably waiting for him somewhere, ready to give him a little talking to before (hopefully) giving him something else not so little. And Tony is only all too eager to partake.

“Look, I don’t have time to explain to you the little intricacies of our friendship or get into the details of 1940s homosocial norms–”

“I would hate for the Avengers to break up simply because you couldn’t be more… discreet in your admiration,” Reed interjects, trying for diplomacy. “It would be detrimental to my work if the Fantastic Four were to have to intervene in every little conflict of international importance.”

Tony throws up his hands. “God forbid crime fighting cut into your borderline unethical human experimentation, but I guess we all need a hobby.”

“I suppose so, Tony. And how about yourself? Planning to end world hunger with more missiles, are you?”

Tony’s head tilts as he regards his long-time acquaintance. “Is that sarcasm I detect? I didn’t think you had it in you. Who would have thought I could annoy you into displaying half a human emotion. Not me. Color me impressed,” he says, “With myself, naturally.”

He thinks he sees Reed’s eye twitch. “I feel we have strayed from the topic at hand…”

“No, this is an excellent note to end on,” Tony tells him, patting his shoulders with both hands before turning to walk away. “Good talk, old chum. Now, it’s time for me to find Steve and see if he’d be up for a tour of my lab. Unlikely, but you never know,” he calls out over his shoulder. He pauses at the door. “And that was a euphemism, by the way – for sex – in case you were wondering.”

“You are incorrigible.”

“Steve’s used to it.”

* * *

Tony meets up with Steve ten minutes later, shortly after the man is able to pawn off his fellow superhero on a set of pretty lab techs. Tony pulls him into a conference room away from the din of the party and half-sits on the table.

“So…” he begins.

“The resemblance is uncanny, isn’t it?” Steve tells him. “I mean, some of the S.H.I.E.L.D. guys told me about it and showed me some pictures online, but in person, we could be twins.”

“Thank you! That’s what I said.”

_Take that, Reed!_

Now that they are alone, he takes in Steve’s uniform and slicked back hair. “Who were you supposed to be, anyway?”

Steve shrugs, scuffing the carpet with his boots. “Army officer sent by the DoD to convince you to design better body armor for our boys overseas by any means necessary.”

Okay, that’s better than heterosexual horndog intern, but–

“You know I don’t design weapons anymore.”

“Okay, for starters, I didn’t say weapons – Uncle Sam heard you on Iron Man years ago and is standing down for now – and two, I can be very convincing.”

“How convincing?”

Steve takes half a step closer to invade Tony’s personal space. “Well I’d do just near about anything, Mr. Stark, to serve my country.” He rests a hand on Tony's bent knee. “ _Anything at all…_ You know, Iron Man is my favorite Avenger.”

“Is he now?”

Steve looks down at Tony through his lashes. “Isn’t he everyone’s?”

_Damn Straight._

Tony smiles, stepping up from the table to pull him closer. “Why don’t we step into my office, and we can discuss the particulars of your offer over drinks?”

Steve's reply is soft, warm, and completely wrong for his character: "After you, Mr. Stark."

Tony wouldn't have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> If you’re confused about why Reed and Steve came down together… Steve was on the opposite side of the party, waiting for Tony’s arrival. Since Tony assumed Johnny was Steve, he didn’t look any further. When Tony was late, Steve went looking for him. Reed came over to talk to him about superhero stuff, but when Steve asked if Reed had seen Tony around and said that Tony was supposed to meet him twenty minutes ago, Reed deduced that Tony had mistaken Johnny for Steve (despite later claiming they look nothing alike, he can see how they bear a passing resemblance to each other). He says as much to Steve (while also denigrating Tony’s observational skills), and Steve realizes they must be in the labs, which is where their roleplay was supposed to end up.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [thereupon these errors are arose (the comedy’s in the errors remix)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29342847) by [EachPeachPearPlum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EachPeachPearPlum/pseuds/EachPeachPearPlum)




End file.
